Elysium - 2013

My husband and I were searching for something to watch together. He's not into movies without color, and he doesn't appreciate movies that are bad in a good way. We scrolled for a while until we came across this movie. We had no idea what to expect when we put it on.

In the future, the world is gross. It's polluted, overpopulated and all the poor people live on it. The rich people are floating on a huge space station (Elysium), which actually looks pretty cool. It's also able to be seen from Earth. Max is trying to work and keep his head down when an accident gives him five days to live. With nothing left to lose, he risks it all to get on Elysium where he can be healed. They have these things where people can lay in them and magically be healed. The poor people on Earth are just out of luck.

I thought the movie was pretty good for being a blind pick. There were a few things that I didn't understand, but whatever. I think of the weirdest stuff. Like when Max got the "armor," I was stuck on the fact he was stuck wearing that shirt forever now. The end was supposed to be happy I guess, but I think they just made the overpopulation problem worse. But woohoo! People are healed!! Anyway, if I don't stare at the plot too closely, I'll give this one a Good Movie! review for entertainment value.

The Spirit - 1987

I was on the hunt for more superheroes to add to our theoretical cinematic universe, and I noticed this movie. I put it on and waited to make my final decision. So far, we have The Pumaman and Supersonic Man.

A man's friend gets blown up and wants to be avenged. He thinks he's found a lead, but then he gets shot and falls in some water at the docks. He raises like a zombie at the weirdest cemetery I've ever seen and scares some kids. He takes one under his wing as his "Robin." After he recovers (which he did quickly - good job invisible doctor!), he pulls a tiny mask out of a drawer, and The Spirit is born.

This movie was weird. And I'm not talking about weird in a good way. The beginning was strong. Spirit's friend was dead, got blown up, then he stumbled out of the house to talk to his friend before dying again. The tone of the movie struck me as intentionally campy, which is the worst kind. I did get a couple of chuckles out of the movie, but all my joy was coming from the police commissioner. And he wasn't in it near enough to save this movie.

The Spirit doesn't make the cut. We have high standards for our cinematic universe!

Midnight Lace - 1960

This movie came on my radar partly due to the subject and partly due to the actors. I'm a fan of Rex Harrison, so I looked forward to watching it.

Kit Preston is a recently married American heiress living in London. In a thick fog, she hears a strange voice threatening to kill her. She rushes home and tells her husband, who brushes it off as a prank. When it happens again, it isn't something she's ready to push aside, but it's becoming hard for people to believe her. The inspector at Scotland Yard thinks it's a scheme by a neglected wife, and no one else has ever heard the voice.

There were hints early on that my man Rex was going to be a nefarious soul. The main one was that they introduced a character I would consider an alternate love interest. I just didn't want it to be Rex. Oh well. We can't have everything. Doris Day played the wife, and she irritated me a bit. I know he was messing with her mind, but for goodness' sake, if you're in the apartment alone (or watching a struggle), pick up a fireplace poker or something.

I suppose if I didn't like Rex so much, I would've enjoyed it more. If I try to put that aside, I guess the twists were well done. The "other man" was a bit shoehorned in there and a bit unnecessary. If he hadn't been in there, I don't think I would've figured things out as much as I did. Admittedly, I never had some of the details figured out ahead of time, so the movie gets credit for that. I'll give it a Good Movie! review for the enjoyment factor, but I'm so sad Rex was a villain...

Supersonic Man - 1979

This little gem has been watched a few times, but I shared it with the family over the weekend.

Speedo man is flying through space when he's told the earth needs him. He gets an epic sparkly outfit and proceeds to fly to earth (to the best theme song ever). When he gets there, he protects a woman who has the personality of a sheet of paper. When needed, he talks to his watch and turns into Supersonic Man. This superhero has TONS of neat little powers. The more you watch, the more you discover. 

Paper woman's father has been abducted for some reason, and Supersonic Man has to save the day. Honestly, I'm not really sure what the main McGuffin was in this one, I was just having fun watching things explode. The end is weird, but what else did I expect?

This movie made me want a crossover or a cinematic universe with Supersonic Man and Pumaman. And the craziest part? The Pumaman is actually mentioned on the Wikipedia page for Supersonic Man as similar! That cracked me up. Some of the family thought this one was better than Pumaman, but I think they each have their own charm. I think my youngest probably would lean towards Pumaman, only because she would cringe every time the theme song began to play. As a trumpet player, the music was giving her physical pain.

I would definitely watch this again. The ineptness of the men in the car tailing the daughter - hilarious. My favorite part is when Supersonic Man saves the daughter as she's being chased. But there are so many good parts, I can't list them all. If you liked Pumaman, I think you'd like this one. If they both sound insane and they never should've been made, you might want to pass. If you do want to watch it, I recommend watching it with friends. Laughing is more fun when you do it with friends! Good Movie!

Point Blank - 1967

I saw an article about this movie a while back and finally got the chance to watch it last night. It stars Lee Marvin, an actor I've seen around a fair bit, and is based on a novel called The Hunter.

Alcatraz is the location of a heist where Walker (Marvin) and his partner take some money from criminals. Then, Walker is betrayed, and his partner shoots him and leaves him to die. Later, Walker somehow makes it back and tracks down his wife and eventually the partner. Walker wants his money. He's not really concerned about who he uses and takes down in the meantime. There's also a man offering to assist Walker in his revenge murder spree.

There are a few things in this movie that struck me. Our "hero" wasn't a nice guy, so rooting for him wasn't really an option. I hated the way he used his wife's sister, and I'm not sure why she was putting up with it. The flashbacks were strange and confusing. When naked man fell off the roof, that was pretty hilarious.

The end was irritating. So, we ended up at Alcatraz to get Walker his dang money, but he just stands in the shadows. There was a twist to the plot, but it didn't hit me. I didn't care about Walker or his money. And then it just ended. What about Chris? Apparently, we don't care. And that's where we leave it. And that's where I'm going to leave this review. I was glad when this hour and a half was over. I still like Lee Marvin, I think he did a good job, he just wasn't a nice character.

The Monster and the Girl - 1941

Next up in our "monster" movie list was this film. There are times during movie night when we end up asking, "Who put together this list?" We did that for about half of this one.

We start with a trial. Or rather, we start with a woman approaching through the mist claiming responsibility for the following events. Her brother is on trial for murder. She tries to save him but fails. While he's awaiting execution, a doctor approaches and asks for his brain.

That's when it gets crazy. His brain gets put into a gorilla, and he escapes to exact revenge. Somehow he kills these men sin a way that breaks all their bones but leaves no mark. We thought maybe he was squeezing them or something, but when they showed him kill someone, it just looked like he gave them a quick hug. The end was super weird. RIP Scott.

For some reason, I was focused on the brain thing. I was thinking gorillas had smaller brain cavities, and upon doing a bit of research, it looks like humans have a brain 3x the size of a gorilla's. So I was wondering if they shaved down Scott's brain to fit it into the gorilla. 

Anyway, the people in this thing were weird, and my favorite had to be the coroner. He'd just come into the room and declare the man dead. The cops would be asking him how, and he would say, "that's your job." Lovely! He would casually mention all the bones were broken and out he'd go. Then the reporters rushed in to take pictures. CSI would've flipped out. My very favorite character of the movie had to be Skipper the dog. He was the bestest boy! He would bring Scott his hat, and he was even a pro at tracking scuzzy men. He was a good lookout and was even sad at the end.

The movie was weird. It was more tolerable than some of the others, but I'm not sure it was good enough to make it a Good Movie. It was only a little over an hour, and the first half was flashbacks and a trial. The "attacks" weren't satisfying, and we didn't get to see all of them. And did they do anything to the doctor? Oh well. Thanks, Skipper for making this movie tolerable!

The Invisible Woman - 1940

Another strange entry into the Universal Monster movie list is this...film. Sure, it has "invisible" in the title, but that's about all it has to recommend it.

A scatterbrained scientist has been sponging off a rich playboy for quite some time now, but he's finally made a breakthrough! He's made a cat invisible for a brief period of time, so he's ready for a human subject. He puts an ad in the paper and waits for a volunteer.

Kitty wants revenge on her employer, so being invisible sounds great. She lets the Wicked Witch of the West lead her into the screen where she undresses and waits for the machine to "tickle" her. It was strange. How did the scientist know it tickled? Did the cat tell him?

Anyway, there's a subplot with this strange multilingual Hitler-like mobster who has been exiled to Mexico. He has various accents and a bunch of minions. Also, alcohol makes the invisibility unstable (and apparently genetic?).

I knew something was up when the credits popped up on the screen. Shemp Howard (Three Stooges and my mom's favorite) was a major clue. Then Major Applegate (Bringing Up Baby) was the butler who immediately tripped on the evidence of the playboy's party and fell down the stairs. The music was never scary.

I don't know what to say about this one. It's definitely not a monster movie. It was a bit creepy, but not in the way you would think. When one of the guys was reaching out for the invisible woman, I'm wondering what they're going to grab and cringing. The effects were okay I suppose, but I definitely saw the wire a few times. I purposely don't look for those things, so seeing it was funny. I also wasn't a fan of the playboy caring what she looked like so much. She put on stockings and was showing off her legs. Eww. 

The slapstick was strange. When you're expecting to watch a monster movie, the comedy comes out of left field. I mean, it was enjoyable enough, but I remember The Invisible Man. He had side effects from being invisible, and they weren't good. He went insane. Hers just made her an alcoholic? Weird...

The Mummy's Hand - 1940

Next up in the Universal Monster list is this movie. I haven't been doing research into these beforehand, so I didn't know anything about it.

Some guy that works in a museum finds a broken vase in the markets of Cairo. He has a comedic sidekick, and they team up with a magician to find the lost tomb of Ananka. Once the bad guy drips some tea into the fleshy mummy, it comes alive and starts choking people. The bad guy has his beggar minion plant small vials of the life-giving liquid in people's tents so the mummy knows who to choke. It's a good thing he takes people by surprise because he is slow and has a bad arm and leg. The liquid was supposed to help him, but it never seemed to do much.

So, I really enjoyed this one. For context, I think I had more fun because I love The Mummy (1999). If you know the plot of that movie, you'll find MANY similarities between the two movies, especially in the beginning. I'm not going to spoil it, but just as an example, the vase equates to the map in the more recent movie.

There weren't any of the big names in this one, but that was okay. We were rooting for the woman at first, since she was smart and knew how to shoot a gun. Then she let us down. She went on a fainting spree and refused to free her arms from loose restraints. The unlikely hero became Babe. He was on par to be an irritant, but he really pulled it out in the end! Still not much of a fan of "Poopsie."

I would 100% recommend this film for fans of The Mummy. You're going to enjoy predicting what comes next, and when you're right, you cheer. When you're wrong? Boy, are you wrong! The end was crazy, and I loved it. My daughter said, "This movie walked so The Mummy could run." An appropriate description. It's only slightly over an hour, so it doesn't stick around too long. It's fun either way! Good Movie!

The Wrong Man - 1956

I'm pretty sure I heard about this one through an article. It's an Alfred Hitchcock film based on a true story.

Chistopher "Manny" Balestrero wants to borrow against his wife's insurance policy. She needs some dental work done, and the family isn't swimming in money. Little does he know, Manny's decision to walking into the office will change his life.

He's mistaken for a man who held up the office (twice) and gets tracked down by the police. Then, he's paraded through a couple stores and charged with the crime. After that, we get to watch his experience with the justice system in excruciating detail. Granted, he did look guilty with the evidence, but the policemen seemed a bit close-minded.

Okay, the first thing that bugged me was the opening. Hitchcock's ghost or silhouette tells me this is a true story, but then I get the obligatory "THE STORY, ALL NAMES, CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS PORTRAYED IN THIS PRODUCTION ARE FICTITIOUS." Well? Fortunately, I was able to find a news article that lined up most of the events with the film. The differences were minimal.

The other thing that bugged me was the drawn-out scenes. These things dragged on for way too long. I understand he's going through it, but I was getting a bit frustrated the story wouldn't move forward. I was saddened by Rose's reaction to the events but knowing she had at least a partial recovery was something. I know the movie made it sound like she was fine, but I saw references that she never fully recovered (including a quote from her son). I believe that. That kind of experience would change your life.

Anyway, the movie itself was okay. I got more interested in the story behind the movie than the movie itself, so I don't think I'd watch it again. I'm glad I heard the story, but I'm still a bit confused how so many people could mistake the two men. In the article I found, it shows both men, and they look nothing alike.

Seriously?

The Pumaman - 1980

I initially saw this gem through MST3K. Since that time, it's become something of a classic in my mind.

This movie has a thin "plot." A man discovers he's the Pumaman when Vadinho (a man who really loves his necklace) throws him out a window. A mind-controlling mask is in the hands of Blofeld from the Bond films. He is looking for the Pew-ma-man (he's the only one in the movie who pronounces it that way, and I'm not sure why someone didn't tell him) for reasons I don't understand. I think it's because Pumaman is obligated to get the mask back to the Aztec UFO that my kids said looked like a Christmas ornament.

There are many wonderful things in this movie: mind control, literally flying by the seat of one's pants, getting lost in the nether, phasing through walls, claws of the puma, the ability to play dead, and one of our personal favorites, changing sizes while attacking (?) a helicopter. 

I've watched this movie multiple times, and I've loved it every time. According to my research, it was supposed to be a serious movie, but they didn't know how to operate the special effects camera, so they tried to make this humorous. It's the best thing. I know the director wasn't happy with the end product, but every single person I've watched this with has had a great time. Best watched with friends!

Tower of London - 1939

Next up on our list of Universal Classic Monsters list was Tower of London.

In this "monster" movie, we get a recreation of the murders of Richard III. He wanted to be king, but there are multiple people in line ahead of him. With a little (or a lot) of scheming, he gets there. He also has a weird diorama locked in a little cabinet that he updates with each murder. I like his attention to detail and making sure to change the dolls as the children age. Who made those for him? Probably Mord...

Oh Mord. The Grinch (Boris Karlof) plays the minion of Richard III (Basil Rathbone - I know him best as Sherlock). He really wants to please Basil. I feel like they made him a bit too dedicated. Calling him a god and kissing his hand was a bit much. Props to Basil, though, he did have crazy eyes a few times. He was probably upset about his hair.

Ok. I didn't do any research on this movie beforehand. I don't want to accidentally spoil anything. I remember the basic parts of this story and the hauntings in the Tower of London. What I didn't expect was this listed as a monster movie. I suppose you could make an argument about Basil's character being a monster, but it was definitely not what I expected. I understand The Grinch, Sherlock and Vincent Price are in this, but I don't think that automatically makes it a monster movie. A horror? Questionable. Richard III was definitely a horrible person, but this movie shouldn't have been on the list. Putting that aside, it was okay, but I probably won't remember much about it. Except the diorama. It was weird.

Son of Frankenstein - 1939

Next up in our Universal Monster movie list is this little gem. It has some great actors in it (Lugosi, Karloff and Basil Rathbone), so I was interested in this one for sure.

Basil is the son of Frankenstein. Now that his father is dead, he's bringing his wife and son to the ol' family home. The village meets them at the station with an icy reception, but they do present Basil with a briefcase that he carries around gently for the next 20 minutes. 

Lurking around the homestead is Igor, the hanged man who didn't die. Apparently, when the lab collapsed at the end of the last movie, the monster didn't die. Igor is lurking around the property and convinces Basil to "heal" the monster. Little does Basil realize the man who stole bodies (they say) is actually manipulating him to revive his murder toy.

Okay, so this was another movie where I just felt bad for the monster. Little Peter, Basil's son, was helpful and liked everyone, including the monster. Again, the poor monster just wants to be treated as a sentient being. Unfortunately, Igor is the one in control, so again, the monster is at the mercy of a terrible person. Sigh. Again, they "kill" him,  There was a lot of peeping, and Bela was playing a weird instrument sometimes.

Krogh, the inspector, looked really familiar. The actor has been in a lot of things, but I think the main movie I was thinking of was Beggars in Ermine. His arm was a bit strange. I don't know if prosthetic arms worked like that back then, but I feel like someone should've given him a better arm. And what was up with his story? He said the monster ripped off his arm, but in previous movies, the monster was fine until people provoked him. I mean, he accidentally killed that girl in the pond, but I feel like she could've stood up and walked out of the water. Just my thoughts. Remember in the second movie when he was hanging out with the blind man (probably not, but I do)? He even learned how to speak, but apparently forgot how to do that for this movie. AND! He sacrificed himself at the end for the stupid humans in love! Argh.

Anyway, the movie was okay, but again, everyone was terrible except for the kid and the monster. I wouldn't really ask anyone I like to watch it. My enemies? Maybe...

Warlock - 1989

I had some time on my hands and heard about this movie. Being a fan of Julian Sands, I was interested in checking out this film.

A warlock is sent to the future where he's tasked with finding the three parts of the devil's grimoire. He wants to uncreate creation, but he'll need to go through Redferne first. Redferne followed him to the future (somehow) and employs a young woman to help stop the warlock.

Ok, so first I'm going to address the elephant in the room. The special effects in this movie are AWFUL. They're straight up some of the worst I think I've seen in a LONG time. If I move past that, I tend to lean toward Sands in any of his roles. I think he did a good job here, but it was hard to root for him at times. I can kind of sympathize with him using kids to be able to "fly," but it still looked really bad.

The story was interesting, and I liked it overall. I feel like the warlock acting was better than Redferne. That guy seemed to lean into a caricature or something. I also found it interesting these guys time travel 300 years and seemed to take it extremely well.

There are more movies, even though this one didn't do that well. Julian Sands appears again in the second one, so I might watch it, but I'm trying to narrow down how I feel about this one. I also want to point out how this movie didn't rely on jump scares. I expected one a couple times, but I was never scared. And I am very jumpy. I was entertained the whole time, and I'm going to give it a Good Movie! review. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone. I understand the criticisms, and they are valid, but I had a good time with it. Fly on, Julian Sands, fly on!