The Man Who Could Cheat Death - 1959

I had this on my watch list, because it looked weird, and I'm always up for that. While I was watching it, I felt like I'd seen it before, but I haven't been able to verify that.

In 1890 Paris, Dr. Bonnet has finished his statue of Margo. At the unveiling, he is reunited with Janine, a past love interest. She's currently in the company of Christopher Lee (who is sporting a questionable mustache - I'm not sure how I feel about it), but she still has a flame lit for Bonnet.

Ludwig is a fellow doctor and friend from Bonnet's past who is noticing a change in his friend. Bonnet needs an operation, or he will suddenly feel his 104 years. He also has some magic bubbling liquid in his safe that helps him stay young. When Ludwig discovers Bonnet has resorted to murder, the old man refuses to help Bonnet anymore. And then Ludwig pays the price.

And here's where Christopher Lee makes his mistakes. He tries to warn Janine about Bonnet, but she accuses him of jealousy, both of Bonnet's talents and her love for him. In other words, she's an idiot. Anyway, Lee heads over to perform the surgery (Ludwig couldn't perform it anymore due to a stroke), but when he hears Ludwig is gone, he refuses. Bonnet reveals he's holding Janine hostage, and Lee folds faster than a chair. Hmm, let this psycho loose or sacrifice a stupid woman. 

So he "performs" the surgery, and Janine finds Margo, who has gone insane in a dungeon with her bust. Let's think about this. Janine knows Margo has been trapped down in the dungeon, and Bonnet locked Janine in this place, but when Bonnet returns, she's all "Yes! I'll stay with you forever!" What?! Ugh, let her die. Unfortunately, Lee and the police find Janine, and she watches Bonnet turn old Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade style (and at one point he kinda looked like a turtle), Margo sets him and herself on fire, and the movie ends.

The font they used for the title credits for this movie were also weird, but it's a minor thing. Overall, I think if you're able to look past some of the super weird stuff, there are some interesting themes in there. When Ludwig is talking to Bonnet about whose life is more important, that was a really interesting conversation. Ludwig was, by far, my favorite was Ludwig. I feel like they weren't kind to him in the picture, but it didn't take away from the fact that he was the smartest and best character.

The Vampire Bat - 1933

This week, we watched a movie starring Lionel Atwilll. He's someone I always like to see on the screen. At first, this movie seemed familiar, but nope! There's just a lot of old vampire movies.

Dead bodies are popping up all over the village drained of blood. The locals are attributing it to a vampire, but a young man is looking to a more human explanation. Herman acts pretty weird, and he carries around a bat in his pocket, so he becomes an easy target for the torch and stick brigade. The problem is, once he's dead and another body shows up, the timeline doesn't line up!

What's really happening is Dr. Atwill is using the blood to keep alive a small sponge. He says it's advancing science, but I'm skeptical. I couldn't figure out what was so exciting about the breathing sponge, but Lionel was excited about it. He had a minion that I'm calling Emu, because I couldn't understand what his name was. Emu didn't speak for most of the movie, but then he was just a normal guy. But then he was creepily skulking across a roof and whispering under his cape at the detective/solver of the crime.

So then the weird ending happens. I'm wondering if there's a normal ending in any of these movies. And by normal, I mean one where I'm not wondering what just happened and why it happened. In this one, Emu straight up murders Lionel after switching places with the solver and then kills himself. What?! Why? And how was Lionel communicating with Emu across the expanse?

The movie was on the strange side. With the breathing sponge, the ESP, and poor Herman and his bat corpse, it was entertaining enough. But these endings are killing me with their nonsense! RIP Emu. I'm not sure why you're dead...

Requiem from the Darkness - 2003

I was scrolling through random animes on Tubi and ended up starting this one. Last night, I finished up the two-part finale. 

Momosuke is an author trying to write a book of 100 ghost stories. As he travels around Japan, he encounters a strange group of three individuals who also seem to gravitate toward the supernatural. They are the Ongyou, and they seek out and punish sinners. Momosuke pops in constantly and basically gets in the way.

A bit of background on this - the show is based on the stories of Natsuhiko Kyogoku called The Wicked and the Damned. I saw seven of those in English, and the titles matched up to episodes in the show. 

I don't know what drew me into this anime. The animation was pretty bad, and the music was worse. Momosuke annoyed me a lot of the time, because he would ask to go along with the Ongyou, but then he would get in the way purposely or accidentally. I think my favorite character was Mataichi. He was a trickster-ish man who posed as a monk and sent people to the afterlife.

Overall, I'm not sure what I think of this anime. I was entertained enough to make it through the whole thing, but it wasn't very long. Thirteen episodes isn't that much of a commitment. Most of the show was pretty disjointed until the end, and that's when a story came together to finish it out. I think that was the part I enjoyed the most. This anime will probably fade from my memory pretty quickly, but Mataichi will be one of those characters I'll remember.

The Ghoul - 1933

I've found a different list of horror movies, and I'm keeping it a secret, hoping it won't disappear like the last one. The pick for this past week was this Egyptian-influenced horror starring none other than the Grinch, Boris Karloff.

In this movie, a man is on the verge of death (it takes him a while to actually kick the bucket), and he wants to be buried in a wholly un-Christian way! He believes that the great god of the underworld, Anubis, will resurrect him since he has possession of the "Eternal Light." Little does he realize others are working against him. He will come back to exact his revenge for the betrayal!

This movie was strange in a number of ways. First, the Grinch needed some of that cream they sell for crepey skin. Even before he died, he was struggling with that and a wicked unibrow. Also, there were so many plot holes, I'm not sure how to even start describing them. The only one I will mention is Davis. He was my hero, and I imagine that after he made his phone call, he headed out for a cheeseburger and milkshake. He deserved it.

The end of the movie also didn't really resolve that much. What happened to the cousins? Or club foot man? Or even the parson man that knew how to blow stuff up? And there was a considerable lack of murdering in this movie. It took forever for any ghouling to happen, and then he wasn't killing anyone I wanted dead. I was super excited when I thought he was going to kill the super irritating woman, Miss Kaney, but no. And she really deserved it!

Overall, this one was pretty bad. I didn't like the statue of Anubis. For some reason, it seemed bustier than I remembered. I didn't like the way the Grinch wasn't really a ghoul, and the explanation was pretty stupid. Even the heirs were irritating. Pass!

The Incredible Melting Man - 1977

This is one of those random movies I threw on the list to watch. It seemed like it would be a fun horror movie.

Astronauts head out to Saturn where seeing the sun through the rings has deadly consequences. Two out of the three men die, and the third is...melting. He escapes from his hospital bed and starts murdering people.

I started out liking this one. The guy was gooey, and the doctor trying to track him down had zero personality. I was especially fond of his tactic of tracking the melting man with a Geiger counter and nothing else. What did he plan on doing when he found him? I also really wanted to know how they got back from Saturn, but they just glossed over that minor detail.

But then, it started to really drag. It was right around the time the comic relief old people stopped at the orchard. I kept checking to see how much time was left. The melting man was gory, as expected. And I was okay with the blood, but the pus was straight up gross and not for me. The end was also pretty disappointing. The only people I really cared about were the sheriff and the general, and the movie wasn't kind to either of them.

I wouldn't watch this movie again. My favorite part was definitely when the doctor was chasing around the melting man with his Geiger counter, calling out for his friend in his monotone voice. "steve. where are you steve? i'm here to help you, steve." I think he almost showed emotion once, but it was a false alarm. Once he made it to the top of the stairs, he was back to his paper personality. Even when his life was on the line, nothing shook him from his constant state of indifference. "help me, steve. i'm going to fall, steve. help me." I was glad when it was over.

Attack of the Crab Monsters - 1957

I was scrolling though Tubi and saw some really epic looking nonsense. I added some of them to my list to check out. This was one of them, and it's only an hour!

A group of people head over to an island to check out why their friends never reported back. They were on a scientific expedition to check out the island after a nuclear bomb was tested not far away. The fallout blew to this particular island, so these scientists wanted to see what effects the radiation had on the flora and fauna. They don't realize they're in for some strange noises and earthquakes.

The cause is telepathic giant crabs. I'm not saying anything else. This movie was ridiculous, confusing, and I loved it. None of it made sense, and I think everyone was dead at the end (or would be soon enough). The action starts right at the beginning and doesn't let up! I should've had an inkling of what I was in for when I saw the intro had a rooster. I don't remember seeing that with any movie company before.

As I watched, parts of this movie felt familiar. I might have watched a YouTube video about it, because I don't feel like I would've watched it alone (even though I did today), and my daughter didn't remember seeing it. This is definitely an instant classic for me. The scientists were also not that smart, and some of the things they said were not all that academic. "Once they were men. Now they are land crabs," was my favorite quote. Also, shoutout to Hoolar, the giant crab that I didn't know had a name. Good Movie! Make sure to watch it with a friend for more fun!

Phantom Ship (The Mystery of the Mary Celeste) - 1935

Well, the list I'd been using for our weekly movies has disappeared, so I was forced to look elsewhere for our horror film. I found a different list and picked this one. It went back to the 30's, but it starred our man, Bela Lugosi.

This movie is giving a potential explanation for the fate of the Mary Celeste. In case you're wondering, that ship was found floating in the Atlantic Ocean in 1872 with no crew aboard. No explanation was ever found for the fate of the crew.

In this tale, Bela is a bitter man who was shanghaied in the past and ends up on the same ship. He watches as one by one, men are going missing and others are getting murdered. Until there are only a few left, and the murderer is revealed.

SPOILERS! There are a number of issues with this movie. Bela is taking revenge on the men who shanghaied him, but some of the other men have been shanghaied as well. Why does he want to kill them? Why did that one guy try to kill the captain? Why didn't they try to kill the accordion man sooner? His music and singing was irritating. The end was just weird. Bela kills the last guy, then looks for the guy he just killed (I mean, he did just get hit on the head, but still), then he just jumps over the side?

This movie was just strange. The ship was pretty awesome if you are prone to seasickness. That thing didn't move no matter how bad a storm they were in. Not a wave to be felt below deck! Most of the deaths happened off screen, so they was less impactful. And I don't know who did Bela's hair for this movie, but they didn't do him any favors. Overall, this movie was entertaining enough, but I wouldn't really recommend it without friends to enjoy the absurdity with you. Too much happens off screen.

Professor T - 2021

I love Ben Miller. My first exposure to him was Death in Paradise, and I love rewatching it. I also loved his character in Doc Martin. When I learned he had a PBS series, I had to watch it.

Jasper Tempest is a criminology professor at Cambridge. When a crime is committed on campus, one of his former students gets him to help solve the crime (eventually). Jasper has OCD and few social skills. From that point on, he becomes more involved with the team, and they come to rely on him more. Well, some of them are more accepting than others.

In some ways, this reminds me a bit of the show Monk, starring Tony Shalhoub. Professor T isn't quite the same for a number of reasons. The main one is the tone. There are moments of levity in this, but for the most part, it's pure drama. You're not laughing about much in this. And while Jasper has OCD, it's not so prominent that it's almost a character like it is in Monk. And while Monk was timid and slow to act, Jasper will put himself into the middle of situations (to the dismay of others!).

I really liked this show. The little daydreams Jasper had were a bit weird at first, but I got used to them. As usual, Ben Miller makes the show for me. I was happy to see Juliet Aubrey. She's also one of my favorites to see pop up here and there in shows and movies. The cases are all one episode, so I didn't have to watch the whole season to solve a mystery. For some reason, that's what I was hoping for. I do just want to say, I felt bad for Dan, and he was treated pretty poorly by Donckers. 

There's more seasons of this, and I'm going to be tracking them down. Good Show!

Spooks Run Wild - 1941

This week, we had no idea what we were in for, but we were excited to see that Bela Lugosi was the star. There was also a group of youths that Mom recognized. She called them the Bowery Boys, but I guess they were also called East Side Kids or Dead End Kids. 

Captain Midnight is taking a group of misfit kids to camp to try and get them to shape up. Bela and his "little" friend are headed up to the abandoned castle to hang out when the guy at the filling station labels them as the notorious "monster" who has been terrorizing the countryside. When the boys sneak out for some nighttime excitement, they decide to take a shortcut through the cemetery and one of them gets a shock (because we never saw an injury on him) from a shotgun blast. They end up at the spooky castle with Bela.

This movie was pretty fun. The slapstick humor involving Bela made up for any annoyance from the stupidity from the boys. I will say that Captain Midnight wasn't very chivalrous, though. He wasn't on board to search for the kids under his care or follow his woman around.

One of the actors in this looked really familiar, but I never figured out why. This was Donald Haines's last screen appearance. He was more of a child actor, but he played the role of Skinny in this film. Shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbor, he enlisted in the U. S. Army Air Forces and didn't return from a strafing mission over Rommel's forces during the Battle of Kasserine Pass in Tunisia. RIP young man.

This movie was silly enough to be entertaining. If you're looking for a serious movie, give this one a pass. I liked it, though, and think it deserves the Good Movie! stamp of approval!

They Won't Believe Me - 1947

Random pick. It just looked like one of those noir movies that I ended up watching a lot of when I was bored a while back.

Larry has impulse control issues and makes bad decisions. A lot of bad decisions. He also has not one, but three women who want to be with him. Two of them end up dead, and he's on trial for murder. It's probably the only crime he hasn't committed, but he's going to tell us the whole sordid tale.

Okay, I thought everyone in this movie was terrible. I'm blaming both Larry and Greta for the death of the horse. They suck. Janice sucks, because she's stupid and never learned anything. Twice. Verna is a terrible person, but she's one of the dead women, so it doesn't really matter. 

But the last minute saved it for me. The movie had lost me at that point. I was doing other stuff, and it had been downgraded to background noise, but one moment changed it all. The verdict was in. I was laughing so hard. Was I supposed to be laughing? Of course not. But what happened was so unexpected and so beautiful that I was almost crying. My dog came into the room to see if I was okay. 

I'm not calling this a good movie, but if you can slog your way through the excuses and bad decisions Larry makes for an hour and a half, I think the last minute makes up for it! If not, I was probably just delirious or having one of the moments where you find something really funny and everyone else thinks you're insane...

The Crimson Pirate - 1952

Do you ever just sift through the Leaving Soon category on Tubi and randomly pick a movie? Halfway through, you wonder why you picked it (not in a bad way, you're just wondering what made you pick it)? And then, once the credits roll, you wonder, "What did I just watch?"

Let me introduce you to The Crimson Pirate. I chose this one, for some reason, and settled in for almost two hours of comedy/drama. It's one of those confusing plots that flips mood at interesting moments. Our main character is played by Burt Lancaster. I've seen him in tons of stuff, but I remember him from Run Silent, Run Deep and The Train. For some reason, I didn't review The Train. 

Anyway, he's got his crew of misfit pirates who pretend they're dead from scurvy so they can take over one of the king's ships. They make a deal to capture El Libre and make some gold off the sale of weapons. Then, a woman becomes involved, and now it's about...love!

This movie was a bit crazy. Burt Lancaster was swinging on ropes and jumping on canopies and doing all sorts of acrobatics. His friend was doing the same and also performing magic tricks, but apparently he was mute. After a bit of digging, Burt was a circus performer, and his real life partner, Nick Cravat, is his co-star. They played really well off each other for the comic portions. Also, Nick wasn't mute in real life.

When it came to the serious bits of the plot, I just don't know what to say. It didn't come up much. The traitor had the strangest hair, and it bothered me. He used a braid as a place to hang his earring, and it was just weird. Mr. Pirate forgave his crew pretty easily for trying to murder him, and the middle dragged a bit. I have to say, my favorite part was the fight at the end. It was ridiculous and went on forever. It even had a hot air balloon and explosions!

Overall, I kinda liked this movie. I found it amusing how no one cared when people died. They just fell off the screen and POOF! We don't care about them anymore, and we don't talk about them. I liked learning about Burt and Nick's acrobatics and watching them bounce around. Burt had some real weird outfits, and I'm not sure where the woman got her dresses from. She was on the run and escaped with the clothes on her back, but somehow there were magic dresses for her on the king's ship? Ok...I'm just not going to think about it. I'm giving it a Good Movie! review because it's ridiculous, and I had fun with it.

Demon Prince Enma (anime) - 2006

A random pick on Tubi led me to this anime. It's only four episodes.

Enma is part of a small team of interesting characters who are tasked with finding demons and sending them back where they belong. I'm not going to go much further into the plot. With only four episodes, you can check it out if it interests you.

A couple warnings, though. The nudity and violence is a bit over the norm in this. If you're a prude, it could be a problem. If you're prone to frighten easily, I wouldn't recommend watching this at night. Some of the topics touched on could also be a bit of an issue if you're sensitive to incest, suicide or rape.

Putting aside the warnings, I did like this show. The animation of the backgrounds was strange at times, and I can't quite explain how. I liked the soundtrack, and the character models were pretty cool. I saw the manga version of Enma (the manga seems super hard to locate, and I couldn't verify if English copies exist), and I have to say, the anime version fit the story really well.

This anime will not work for everyone, but I enjoyed the little twists and turns in there. Having a talking hat called "Geezer" will instantly get me on board every time. There was more to it, of course, but I felt like this was really good for a blind pick. Good Anime!

Side note - I want to give a shoutout to the anime for using Träumerei. It's a piece of music that's gotten stuck in my head a lot during my life, and it was only a few years ago that I was able to track down the name of it. It's a peaceful bit of piano music, and I really love it. It's not used that way here at all, but I always smile when I hear it somewhere beyond my head! 

The Smiling Ghost - 1941

Well, the house is empty, and it's back to the list of "horror" movies. We'd skipped a few while my daughter was home to make sure she got to watch a "quality" horror movie. Unfortunately, she was still stuck with a weird version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 

Next up in the list was a movie called Old Mother Riley's Ghosts. The quality in it was horrific, the woman was almost more irritating than Kay Kiser in You'll Find Out (it might have been a tie), and that was after only 15 minutes. We also couldn't understand what people were saying. Mother Riley was one of those people who wasn't necessary to a scene. For instance, a group of men were gathered in a room for a meeting, but the table was messy. Old Mother comes in, Three Stooges her way around a bit, gets kicked out, and then the men go on with their meeting. Her presence was 100% unnecessary. Anyway, we were both bothered by her and turned that movie off, skipping forward in the list to The Smiling Ghost.

This movie started off strong. The credits begin with a creepy, ghosty grin over top of the title. Elinor has had four fiancés meet with tragic, if not fatal, incidents on the eve of marriage. Elinor's grandmother has now hired Lucky, a man in debt up to his eyeballs, to pretend to be engaged to Elinor for a month to try and flush out the "ghost" responsible for the incidents. A series of nefarious accidents and dangerous attempts are then made on Lucky's life. He's determined to help Elinor, but there's also Lil, a local reporter, who's got her eye on a story - and Lucky himself!

I was really excited when I realized that some of this movie was actually somewhat horror-ish. It still had some of that stupid comedy in there. And it had Clarence, the African American actor they put in too many uncomfortable situations (they had him hide in the coal bin, etc.). But overall, there was a real mystery in there. Put aside the stupid romance that made no sense. I mean, there's no way not one, but two women would fall in love with that doofus within 24 hours. I would hope not anyway. I also had a real issue with the ghost knowing about the secret passageway when no one in the family seemed to be aware of it. Two separate times everyone was gathered in that room, and they didn't know there was another way out.

My overall judgement is middle of the road. Honestly, this is a basic Scooby Doo episode with some bad romance shoehorned into it. It also didn't have enough dog (but there was one briefly!). Favorite character was Norton, the butler, who knew nothing about his job but had weapons all the time and pointed them at whoever he felt like. And an honorable mention to Mr. Dinwiddie, because I liked his name.