Battle in Outer Space - 1959

We went to space for movie night. We were wondering what was happening in the preview, and when it started, we just let it play. That was probably a mistake.

Some aliens are peeved at the humans and are making weird things happen. A railroad bridge levitates, a ship is destroyed by a waterspout, and random guys are getting implants in their brains to become slaves of the aliens.

But hope isn't totally gone! There are some random people sent into space to combat the aliens. They have Oscar Meyer Weineromobiles and heat rays. Unfortunately, one of the crew members has an implant.

This movie was nutty and incredibly boring. They show way too much walking, and the brief glimpse we get of the aliens is underwhelming. They're also really easy to get away from and are terrible at hand-to-hand combat.

The single redeeming quality of this movie was the names of the ships. Honestly, how do you think you'd pronounce SPIP? Everyone was calling it "Speep." Other than that, everything was weird, and it was a long hour and a half.

Creature of Destruction - 1967

This was our pick for movie night. The summary for it was wild, and we just had to know how a magician was controlling a creature.

A guy hates humanity, so he hypnotizes a beautiful woman and controls a creature that is her, but it’s also not her. What I mean is that both can exist at the same time. The woman can also tap into her own beam while hypnotized and summon one of her past lives. There’s a military psychologist who wanders around trying to solve the mystery, but he essentially has the personality of a piece of paper.

This movie was wild. A lot of times in these bad monster movies, they’ll hide the monster in darkness so you can’t see how bad it is. In this case, the opposite is true. They showed the monster all the time, but it was awful. The “teeth” made it look like a naked mole rat. The best thing about that is when they had a sketch artist talk to a witness. That picture was amazing.

And then there was the singer. He was just there, and his songs were extremely weird. It was as if someone gave him the music and told him to sing something. I was glad when he was attacked. He was pretty stupid anyway.

The other thing I have to mention is the day-for-night technique. I’ve seen it a few times now, and I’m labeling this movie as the worst. I had no clue when it was supposed to be nighttime. It was obviously daytime all the time, but we figured out that when the magician has his top hat on, it’s probably nighttime.

The premise belongs in a category of its own. The woman has these personalities in her mind, and she spouts off an English accent while she’s under hypnosis. When the “expert” questions her, he asks general knowledge questions like who was the monarch. Really? They said that made her answers verifiable, but it also meant they could have looked it up ahead of time. And what was her actual connection to the creature? Why does shooting the creature do nothing, but shooting the woman kills both? That was just weird.

Overall, this one wasn’t as enjoyable as it could’ve been. We didn’t have anyone to root for. Everyone was terrible. There wasn’t even a dog! The movie had some serious potential, but it’s going to end up being a pass from me.

The Navy vs. the Night Monsters - 1966

We were hoping for more with the second film of our double-header. After being somewhat disappointed with The Beginning of the End, I was ready for some Antarctic killer trees!

Something gets loose on a cargo plane. It's headed from Antarctica to the States and stops over on Cow Island (it's really Gow Island, but Cow is more fun). A civilian weatherman is ready to leave, but when the plane crashes, his dream of leaving with a woman who doesn't love him is threatened. The only person left from the entire crew is the pilot, but he's in some sort of vegetative state.

There were a few Antarctic trees on the plane, and to try and keep them alive, they're planted near some hot springs. Little do the people realize, the warmth has awakened the trees, and now they're hungry for blood! They excrete black acid and walk on their roots. 

The movie tries to say the dog was killed by a tree, but I know the truth: he was working with the trees the whole time. Every time he tried to tell people about the trees, he ended up luring them to their deaths.

The end of this was great. I loved the napalm, even though they kept showing it over and over. They reused footage, but it didn't bother me much, because I was enjoying the army of tiny trees waddling their way to the base.

I really did like this one. It bothered me they kept calling one guy Charlie Brown, but later I saw that was actually his name. Whoops. The romance in this is so weird. People are dying and getting attacked, but sure, let's talk about our future. Stupid Nora. I do like how Spaulding just shows up at one point with some Molotov Cocktails. I never understood the purpose of the pilot, since he just ended up sacrificing himself in the end. Anyway, I gravitate to the nonsensical ones that leave me with questions. And that definitely happened here. Good Movie!

I love this poster!

Beginning of the End - 1957

I was in the mood for some monster mayhem while I split my focus with my cross-stitching, so we picked the movie with giant locust grasshoppers. One of the things I learned from this movie was that a locust is a short-horned grasshopper. Not every grasshopper can turn into a locust, though. They have to be special and have a lust for destruction. The things you learn! 

Our movie starts with a smooching couple getting attacked by something. The police come upon the carnage and say it was an accident. Not five minutes later, they're calling it a homicide. Nearby, the town of Ludlow, not too far from Chicago, has disappeared. Actually, it looks like tornado footage, but whatever. An annoying reporter puts her nose in the story, and with the help of Peter Graves, they discover that the large vegetables and fruits he's been growing created huge locusts. These locusts are hungry for blood, and they're eventually headed for a postcard of Chicago. Then, they "climb" on the buildings making an irritating noise.

This movie was weird. I hated the noise the locusts made, and when they were trying to rile up the captured one, I thought I would lose my mind. Peter Graves and the woman just had no time to try and help anyone. I swear they watching at least two people get eaten, and they just went about their merry way.

This is one of those movies I'm glad I saw once, but I don't think I'll be watching it again. They reused bits of footage here and there, and it was so close to the first time that you couldn't help noticing. I was really bummed when they killed Frank. Was it his fault he died? Sort of. I mean, he could've tried to run, but he just stood there. Anyway, if you're bored, this is some good background noise.

Super Riders vs. Frankenstein's Monsters - 1975

We wanted to watch something at lunchtime, and we noticed this had some familiar imagery. One of our favorite shows last year was Kamen Rider. This is a Taiwanese knock-off. I can't find a lot of information on it, but it sounds like this was an unofficial "adaptation" that used footage and outfits from Kamen Rider V3. Don't quote me on that, though. It also has approximately four different names, but I used the one that was listed on Tubi.

In this movie, Dr. Frankenstein (who we never saw) is in charge of a weird cult that is prophesying the death of the Super Riders. There are three of them at this point, but something that really stood out to me was #3. He would say he was #3, but then he would only hold up two fingers (see poster). The monsters were amazing, and the Ees were back! Mom and I had a great time predicting what would happen based on our Kamen Rider knowledge. Oh, and they had a rock that covered people in soap suds.

I think one of my favorite parts was when there was a whole crapton of monsters lined up and they all introduced themselves. The first couple were Red Monster and Pink Monster, but then we had fun things like Dino Monster and Blood Monster. If we're talking the whole movie, the dubbing was my absolute favorite thing. I don't even know how to describe what I was hearing. It's like it's spoken by AI before that was possible. Either that, or they waited till the voice actors were exhausted so they would sound as bored/tired as possible.

We had so much fun with this movie. If you like Kamen Rider, you should really give this a watch. I'm definitely watching it again, and it more than deserves a Good Movie! rating.

Phantom From 10,000 Leagues - 1955

Since we lost our monster movie list, we've been choosing blind lately. This one sounded interesting. I mean, we love the Creature that lived in the Black Lagoon, so how bad could this be? 

The answer is: pretty bad.

Ok, the plot is insane to begin with. There's a beam of radioactivity shooting out of a crack in the ocean floor. The nutty professor has apparently used the radiation to create a mutated turtle that guards the crack. Anyone who goes close to that area is hugged to death by the creature. Apparently, they're horribly burned as well, but they looked normal to me. We have two people trying to get to the truth. Mr. Grant is a government man, and he eventually enlists the help of Dr. Ted. The doctor created his own creature and wears suits on the beach.

The beach itself is a wasteland. No one is ever hanging out there, but there always seems to be a boat waiting for someone to take it out. Also, the strange couple that appeared out of nowhere found scuba gear waiting for them! The creature never moves from the radiation area, so I figured they could just put out a buoy and stay away from the area.

I never understood why so many people went onto the beach in such stupid outfits. What woman is hiking along the beach in heels on purpose? That was the professor's daughter, and she was odd. She had some weird outfits and was strangely attached to her father.

George was creepy with the way he "hid" in bushes all the time. Ethel was kind of a poo. At first, I thought the professor was being paranoid, but nope. People were actually spying on him. Ethel blamed the professor for the death of someone, so she was trying to find the dirt on him. She's also dumber than a box of rocks. "Here, let me eavesdrop outside the door, and no one will see the huge shadow I'm throwing on the wall!" Really? George was trying to make money off the professor's research (?).

I did have fun with this one, but we really needed more of the creature. I'm still not sure how the radiation only burned the stupid rowboat, but it blew the huge destroyer out of the water. The other weird thing was, you couldn't tell what time of day it was. Sometimes it was supposed to be the middle of the night, but it's definitely daytime. At one point, I didn't understand how Ted didn't know who shot the spear at him, because you could clearly see George lurking in the bushes. Ted was also close to the car when it drove away.

I think this one earns a Good Movie! review. There's a lot of fun moments of nonsense in there. If that's your thing, check this movie out!

P.S. No way was this thing was 10,000 leagues under the sea. It wasn't a phantom either...

Invasion of the Neptune Men - 1961

We decided to watch a random movie around lunchtime. This one sounded awesome.

Metal-men from Neptune are invading the Earth. Japan has a "superhero" by the name of Iron Sharp. The man has a nifty scarf and a flying car! He evens gets his own theme song, which is long and tiring.

This movie is a strange one. And I mean that on a number of levels. I'm not sure why the Neptune guys were so slow. It seemed like a light jog would have you far away in no time. I'm not sure why the leader had a record on his head. He was also the only one whose buttons lit up. I'm not sure why the summary for the movie called the hero "Super Chief" and the movie itself called him "Iron Sharp." The kids even sang the words Iron Sharp. There is also a moment during the destruction sequence that caught me completely off guard. I'm not spoiling that one, but if you watch it, you'll know what I'm referring to.

There were also some cons. Did they show the kids running for way too long? Yes. Did the kids sing forever on multiple occasions? Yes. Were there times when I wondered if we'd ever see Iron Sharp again? Definitely. 

I think this one is worth watching at least once. There are some real gems in there that you don't want to miss. The miniature work is great, especially with the space ships (not the repetitive little ones). As with any of these cheesy movies, make sure to watch it with an appreciative friend! Good Movie!