The Loft - 2014

I was working on scanning things this morning and needed some noise for the background. The premise for this sounded slightly interesting, and I liked some of the actors, so I threw it on. This review is going to be chock full of spoilers.

Five married men have a loft where they can take their mistresses, one night stands or prostitutes and keep them a secret from their wives. One morning, Luke comes in and finds a blond handcuffed to the bed with blood soaking the mattress. He calls the other four "members" and they all start throwing accusations and having flashbacks.

Begin the spoilers!

Every one of these guys suck. Luke films the other four and keeps DVDs. He's fallen in love with the dead girl and thinks one of the other ones is in the way of his "love" for her. Marty (?) is vulgar and crass and talks about every woman as if she were simply a combination of her sexual bits. Philip is a rage machine who is a drug addict and beats up prostitutes because "you can't rape a whore." Vince is the one who came up with the loft scheme, but he's supposed to be the worst since he slept with Marty's wife, Philip's sister, paid for Chris's prostitute girlfriend and flaunts his promiscuity in front of Luke. And finally there's Chris, who I guess is the hero, because he's just having an affair with a prostitute and falls in love with her. I guess.

Later/earlier (remember - flashbacks), they think Vince is responsible for the girl's death, and Luke reveals what he knows about Vince and his connections to the others. It's then that they decide to frame him for murder. Unfortunately, the scene looks more like suicide than murder, so they elect Philip the psycho to arrange the scene. He goes all out, and the police are convinced by their wonderful job.

Except they're stupid. I'm sure there are others out there that could pick apart all the stupid things these guys do, but I have one particular point that bugs the heck out of me. The girl was ALIVE when they were all there yakking over her. When they reveal that, they do close-ups, and her eyes are twitching, and her fingers are moving. There are four men standing over her, and no one sees that?! Not one of them thought to touch her? She would be warm to the touch - not cold. Shallow breathing? Nothing. And then, when drugged out Philip cuts her, and her blood gushes everywhere, he didn't think that was weird? I'll chalk that one up to drugs, but I can't forgive the other ones. No way they couldn't figure out she was alive.

Anyway, I feel like this would have been so much better if the drugged babbling of Vince had come true. If the wives had found out and framed them. I feel like that would've been amazing. And I don't understand how there are guys NOT in prison at the end of the movie. They committed crimes like obstruction, accessory, etc., but no. Let's meet up with our ex-prostitute girlfriend in a parking lot. And why would Mimi take Marty back? He was a disgusting man. The whole thing just makes you want to take a shower and appreciate having a boring life.

Spider-Man (Japanese TV series) - 1978-1979

A while back I ordered a DVD set of this show. I wish I could say I was surprised when it came as obvious home-burned discs with hastily scrawled numbers on them. As long as they worked, I didn't care. Side note: apparently, today is Spiderman Day!

This Spiderman is a bit different from the one we're used to. Takuya isn't bit by a radioactive spider. Instead, he finds an alien named Garia in a cave who injects him with spider stuff. Then, Garia gives Takuya his revenge mission and turns into a spider, only to later die. From then on, Takuya fights against the Iron Cross Army to get revenge for the deaths of his father and Garia. He'll have to fight against a lot of Ninders (thank you, Google). We called them Ducks, because of their weird outfits. The monsters of the week were the Machine Bems that would grow. Then, Spiderman would call on Marveller, who would sometimes take out a small village with an earthquake. The giant robot was a transformer who would take the Bems out with the Sword Vigor.

I. Love. This. Show. I love the way Spiderman fights. I love the way he climbs up and down things for no reason. I loved a lot of the monsters, although my favorites were Magni Catfish and Air Bomber (he would've gotten top spot, but he didn't fly - it was all about the noise and arm movements). I love the epic slaps on the Ninders. I love the little taglines he gives himself before epic fights. I love Tachibana (a very minor character, but I loved him). I just loved every minute of this show. I could go on and on about everything I loved, but it would be a super long review and such a spoiler for anyone who wanted to watch it in the future. And I do recommend watching it. I'm not sure why Takuya was also a motocross rider (like in Kamen Rider), but both these shows were epic.

Seriously, if you like shows like this, I can't recommend both Kamen Rider and Japanese Spider-Man enough. I had so much fun with both of them. And I still don't know what that one woman wanted to do with those onions! Great Show!

Where Eagles Dare - 1968

This is one of those WWII classic movies that show up on multiple lists telling me I need to watch it. So, I watched it. The screenplay was written by Alistair MacLean, who wrote the book at the same time. But the book has differences. Go figure. This review will contain spoilers.

Smith puts together a team to extract an American general from a German fortress that's only accessible by cable car. Once they are parachuted in, it becomes clear there's a saboteur among the group. One of the team is dead, and it wasn't an accident. As time goes on, things go wrong, but Smith knows he can trust the only new person on the team: Clint Eastwood.

This movie was a roller coaster. For me, it was crazy. It was like one of those you know that he knows that you know...there's a spy. Then there's three. Then the general is a corporal, because the mission isn't the real mission. Then the British spy is a German spy but then he's a British spy again. Then they take the three infiltrators prisoner but kill them anyway. Then the colonel is the top spy. Then he jumps out of a plane. Overall, I love a good twist, but this movie actually had too many for me. That's saying something. I did enjoy the soundtrack, though.

Notorious - 1946

I've watched this movie multiple times. Every time, I remember the characters do things that are frustrating, and that I shouldn't like it. But I end up staring at the screen every time.

This film stars Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman. Grant stars as a government man who is sent to recruit Bergman to work for them in trying to figure out what a group of Germans are plotting in Rio. They fell in love before they knew what the job was, and now they just won't communicate how they really feel about each other until it's too late.

Honestly, I shouldn't like this movie. All these people have to do is communicate, and so many problems would be avoided. Also, they are terrible at the whole spy thing. I understand how Bergman's character could make mistakes, but Grant's character should've been more careful. Maybe it's because it's a Hitchcock movie, and the actors are great, but something about this movie keeps me coming back. Good Movie!

The Ghost Breakers - 1940

Next on our horror list was this movie starring Bob Hope. Once we saw his name pop up, we had the feeling it wasn't going to be a serious movie. And it wasn't.

Mary has inherited a haunted castle in Cuba. She's getting ready to leave when Larry barges into her room hiding from the police. He thinks he's murdered a gang member, and he needs to get out of the hotel before he's caught. He hides in Mary's trunk, and he ends up getting transported onto the ship headed for Havana.

Once they finally get there, the mystery continues. The murdered man was trying to warn Mary not to sell the castle, a government official is suspicious, and so are about five other people. Plus, there's a zombie. And a ghost. Larry has a valet, Alex, who is basically a servant and the butt of many jokes. A lot of them are racist, so there's that.

The humor in this was weird. The one liners with dead bodies around were a bit disturbing. They added in a billion suspicious people, but I never did figure out what the deal was with the clumsy guy. He acted super suspicious, but he just disappeared after a while. Alex was the real hero of the movie. He saved Larry a few times, and he was responsible for saving everyone at the end.

This is one of those movies I probably would've skipped if I'd known it was a comedy ahead of time. It's like the Abbot and Costello ones on the Universal Monster list. We didn't watch those, either. Alex 100% made this worth watching. Everyone else seemed pretty stupid. Mary ran into the house to escape the zombie, but did she close the door? Nope. Alex spots the zombie, and what's the first thing he does? Tries to leave. Smart! If only more of the characters were as smart as Alex.

And why does the ghost on the poster have a nose?!

Target for Tonight - 1941

This is basically an hour-long recruitment video for the RAF. It follows a raid, specifically the plane "F for Freddie" as they fly to Freihausen to bomb a storage facility in Germany.

It was interesting to see all the different people involved in the mission. A few actors were in there, but there were also real servicemen. According to the film's director, most of the the flight officers and crew that appeared didn't make it through the war.

There isn't much to say about this movie. It's short and shows what it's meant to show. It hides certain things that would have been advantageous for the enemy to see, and certain names and numbers are changed for the film. I found it to be really interesting, but I can understand why not everyone would agree. Personally, I'm giving it a Good Movie! review.

The Horse Soldiers - 1959

In my quest to see almost every John Wayne ever, I needed to see The Horse Soldiers. This movie is based on a book that's based on an event during the Civil War. It's like nesting dolls. The book was written by Harold Sinclair, and that book was based on the Grierson's Raid, a Federal cavalry campaign to interrupt the rail lines of the Confederacy. 

John Wayne plays a colonel of the Union cavalry in charge of getting his men to Newton Station. After that, he's planning to take the unexpected route of heading south to Baton Rouge. When he makes his final decision, he discusses it in the home of Miss Hunter, a southern belle who is willing to spy and tell the Confederates the plan. Thus, the cavalry has two women along now.

Along the way, the colonel is at odds with the doctor, who seems determined to be irritating. Eventually, they'll either make it to Baton Rouge or they won't. 

The really sad part of this movie was when the rebel guy went to the academy and pulled out all the troops. The highest ranking troop was a 16-year-old. They sent a bunch of children to the lines, and they were led by an old reverend. What the heck. The Civil War was brutal.

The movie itself was okay. It had moments of levity, and the woman wasn't totally in the way the whole time. Just parts of it. Wayne's character was complex and take-charge as usual, but I didn't see anything here that would raise this into one of my favorites. It might have something to do with the setting. The Civil War is a time period I don't watch or research very often, so that may have contributed to my enjoyment. The other thing is I was always worried about the horses. It's still a Good Movie!, it's just not one of my favorites.

Side Note - I really did love the song that went with this movie, especially the line about leaving a letter in the "holler" of the tree!

The Battle of Midway - 1942

This short 18-minute film briefly takes footage from the Midway battle and presents it to the audience.

It was shot while renowned director John Ford (who worked a lot with John Wayne) was on the island for purposes of shooting footage for the Navy. He was actually injured in the process.

The film itself is strange. The tone is all over the place. We're lighthearted as we watch the "natives" - seagulls. Then we're serious as the battle begins. Afterwards, we check in with the pilots and ask how many we've taken out today. It's lighthearted. Then we're somber as we remember the dead. The reflective music is abruptly interrupted by a patriotic march as we take stock of the Japanese losses and end with a red painted "V" for victory.

I could barely understand the narrators, and the mother figure was the absolute worst. "Oh, dear Johnny. I know him. He's a sweet boy from down the road." Or some such nonsense. I appreciate that Ford had footage of the boys just hanging out waiting for something to happen, but he should've left Granny in the kitchen.

I read that Ford spliced in footage of Franklin Roosevelt's son, and the president's reaction was that he wanted every mother in America to see the movie. It also protected Ford from censorship. That being said, I didn't really see anything graphic that would warrant cutting. 

This movie reminded me of Combat America, where Clark Gable gave the audience an inside look of the 351st bombardment group. I think that was one a bit more interesting, though.

Overall, I think the footage was (and still is) significant, but for some reason, the way it was put together didn't really resonate with me. That surprised me, since I've enjoyed most things I've seen where John Ford was involved. Oh well, can't win 'em all I suppose.

The Man with Nine Lives - 1940

Next up on the weird list I found is The Man with Nine Lives. It stars one of my favorites, The Grinch.

A doctor has been experimenting with "frozen therapy" aka piling ice on people for five days and curing them of cancer (we won't talk about the coffee enemas to wake them up). He's heard of a scientist who performed amazing experiments 10 years ago, but no one has seen him since. When the doctor gets somewhat reprimanded for not stopping other people from saying he cured cancer, he heads off with his nurse fiancé to locate the scientist. 

A local fisherman warns them not to poke around on the island, but of course, they don't listen. The nurse falls through the floor, and they're on the trail of the scientist's secret lair. When they locate the icy room, they locate the scientist and thaw him out. Then, they thaw out the other four guys that were accusing him of murder 10 years ago. One of them freaks out and burns up his formula for safely freezing people, so now The Grinch is going to use these "already dead" people as guinea pigs to recreate his formula. It's really because he can't remember three numbers.

Parts of this thing were too weird, and other parts were amazing. The Grinch had great facial hair. He was also sorry about one of the people he killed, so that was nice. The woman in this thing was so worthless. She wore HEELS to ramble on the island and explore. Then when everything is going sideways, her contribution is to make tea, cook soup and scream. The real hero of the movie was the fisherman. Hands down.

The #1 most surprising thing I learned about this movie?! It's based in part on the experiments of a real life biologist named Robert E. Cornish. He was a child prodigy who got himself a doctorate at 22. He experimented with resuscitation and claimed to resurrect 20 dogs. They were named Lazarus I-XX. He wanted to try and resuscitate an inmate on death row, but was denied, because if it worked, there was a concern the reanimated murderer would have to be released due to double jeopardy.

I think my standards are lowering, because I didn't think this movie was that bad. It's probably because The Grinch makes everything better. I also liked his deathbed medical directives. They went on forever. And celebrating the madman who was willing to kill random people? Why not?! I also liked how the ice walls changed thickness all the time. And let's just tell the scientist we're not on his side anymore instead of just bopping him on the head and taking his gun. Anyway, this one is getting a Good Movie! review from me, but whether it would have gotten one six months ago is a mystery...

Danger UXB - 1979

I found out about this after doing some research into bomb disposal. It was after I'd watched The Hurt Locker, and it came to my attention that bomb disposal was an important part of the blitz of WWII. That's what this show is about. And it stars Anthony Andrews! The Scarlet Pimpernel!

Over the course of the show, I was introduced to the various bombs that evolved over the nighttime bombings of London and the surrounding areas. I met characters, and not all of them made it. Bomb disposal isn't a safe job. I was surprised by the number of different types of bombs that were used. It was diabolical, really. The most maddening were probably the butterfly bombs. I hadn't heard of those, and the unpredictable nature of them was insane.

The show is based on the memoir of A. B. Hartley. I'd like to get my hands on that one day for sure. I was impressed at the detail in the show, and I was VERY aware of the use of silence. When there was a tense moment defusing a bomb, the screen would go silent, and at times, I would find myself holding my breath. I was so focused on what they were doing. If there was a jump scare, I'd about leap out of my skin!

My one qualm with this show was the soap opera elements. I didn't give a hoot about Susan and her relationship with Brian. Yes, she was married, and they were in love. Whatever. I didn't care. I know the show wanted to portray the men as humans with lives outside the war, but bomb disposal was what brought me to the show, and it's what I was there for.

The end of the show was going to swing me one way or the other. I was afraid they were going to end the sappy way with Brian and Susan. I was going to riot and hate the show forever. But never fear! The show ended beautifully.

I really loved this show. I recommend it if you want a look at the way bombs were handled during WWII in London. I learned a lot, and knowing it was made in a way to be fairly accurate means a lot to me. Good Show! 

The Sign of the Ram - 1948

I was scrolling for something to watch one night, and I happened across this movie. I didn't know anything about it and had never heard of it. I went in blind.

Leah has been in a wheelchair since she saved Mallory's children. Since then, she's used emotional manipulation to run the house the way she wants it. The kids are in her debt, and they seem happy to make her happy. But now that they're grown, they're starting to want to have relationships and possibly move out. That's not acceptable.

The first thing I thought of while watching this was that it was a tame version of This Was a Woman. Strangely enough, they came out the same year. While Leah sticks with lies and emotional manipulation, Sylvia (This Was a Woman) tried to kill a dog and did actually murder her husband. The main thing that bugged me about this movie was no one took two seconds to think through anything. Some decisions that could have used a moment's reflection:

* Deciding to just stop talking to the man you're in love with because your stepmother tells you he's talking to you out of pity and doesn't think of you like that

* Leaving in the middle of the night without telling your fiancé you're checking on a rumor when you know it involves her and your stepmother is creating trouble

* Deciding to try and commit suicide without factchecking anything the obvious disapproving stepmother tells you about your birth

* Poisoning the random lady that was brought to your house (for reasons I still don't understand) because you think she is responsible for all the problems there

* Chucking yourself over a cliff because you think you're going to be alone even though you haven't done anything illegal

I could go on, but I have other reviews to write. I'm behind. I did want to give some props to the actress who played Leah. Her name was Susan Peters, and I didn't realize it, but she was a pretty tragic figure. First, I was impressed she could play the piano. Most of the time, actor and actresses are positioned in such a way you can tell they can't play, or if they aren't, they should've been. One particular episode of Columbo always comes to mind. As a trumpet player, it always made me cringe to watch this one guy know absolutely nothing about and not even be close to the music. Anyway...

Susan Peters was actually paralyzed. She'd been in a hunting accident, so she wasn't in the wheelchair as part of the acting. I was just impressed with her acting to be honest, so I was saddened to learn that she struggled with depression and ended up basically dealing with health problems and starving/dehydrating herself to death at 31 years old. That's so sad. She was talented, pretty and so young. She was my favorite part of this movie.

The movie had potential if everyone wasn't so dang stupid. If more people had common sense, it would've been better, but if I had to choose between the two similar movies, I'd choose This Was a Woman.

Sahara - 1943

I can't really remember what prompted me to want to see this, but it was one of those that fit into a time slot. I'm especially not sure what put it on the list, since it stars Humphrey Bogart, an actor I rarely enjoy in movies.

Three men have survived a German attack in the desert and are trying to make it back to their own lines. As they try to find information about where to go in their tank, they come across some Brits, a Sudanese man with an Italian prisoner, and eventually they shoot down a German pilot. Their group heads across the Sahara trying to find water. Once they find water, they have to decide whether to continue back to their own lines or try to delay a German battalion who they know are also in desperate need of water.

This movie was pretty good. Bogart wasn't the usual robot actor that I was used to, and I saw some real expressions cross his face. The entire movie didn't revolve solely around him as well, so that helped. I do wish poor Jimmy could've made it, though. I have to say, it doesn't pay to get attached to any of the characters in this movie. You have a high chance of being disappointed.

The movie is based on a book called Patrol by Philip MacDonald. That was written after WWI and is in the public domain. The premise has been adapted a few times, and I've got the book in my ever-growing list of things to read. I found this particular movie to be well worth the time, and it gets a Good Movie! review.

She Wore a Yellow Ribbon - 1949

I was looking though some of the movies I still needed to watch, and the amount of time I had, and this movie fit what I needed. 

John Wayne plays the Captain at a U.S. Cavalry post in the west. He's nearing retirement, but he needs to go on one last patrol. The mission has an added twist: he has to escort two women to the stagecoach. There are raids by the dog soldiers, and this takes place not long after Custer's last stand.

There's a side plot with a young woman playing two men against each other. She's annoying for that, but she gets called out for it numerous times. I just felt a bit bad for the one guy that didn't see what she was doing.

I want to mention the ending. I thought it was really cool the way the Captain handled the impending war. Also, major props to breaking tradition on killing the guy who's on his last mission. These days, it seems like anyone who's on their last day/last mission, etc. gets killed.

The movie was pretty good. The scenery was neat, and it was filmed around the Monument Valley on the Arizona/Utah border. Very pretty. I recognized some of the actors, mainly a couple from The Quiet Man. Apparently, this was one of Wayne's favorite movies. I liked it, but I don't think this one will rank up there as one of my favorite John Wayne movies. It still gets a Good Movie! review.