The Searchers - 1956

I felt in the mood to watch a John Wayne this morning, and I chose The Searchers. I didn't know anything about it. This movie is based on a novel by Alan Le May.

Ethan returns to his brother's homestead in Texas after being away for eight years. The kids are bigger, and he's brought home money of unknown origin. The local sheriff stops by and recruits Ethan and Martin, a young man Ethan saved as a boy, to investigate some missing cattle. They quickly realize the cows were a diversion to get the men away from home. They return to find most of Ethan's family butchered, and two of the girls have been kidnapped.

What follows is a multi-year search to locate any of the girls that's alive. Ethan has a deep-seated hatred of the Comanche that drives him. At times, it feels like he's more interested in killing the Native Americans than rescuing his niece. When they discover his niece has been made Comanche and seems to consider them her people, Ethan is willing to kill her.

I found this one to be interesting in a number of ways. The scenery was gorgeous, even though I found out it wasn't actually Texas. I also really liked John Wayne's performance in this movie. He usually has a few faces that I'm used to seeing. No criticism from me for sure, but I am used to the smirk, the stare, and some others. There were also quite a few actors I recognized from other movies. I even spotted Wayne's son in there! The storytelling was interesting enough that I didn't feel the two hours. It flew by.

At first, when the movie ended, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. The end struck me, because it wasn't quite what I was expecting. But the more I thought about the movie, I had it come to mind in different ways. I think I'd like to watch it again later on and see what I pick up on. There's some nuances in there with the characters that I don't normally see in Westerns. People struggled with seeing the Native Americans as savages (Scar) they hate and as humans (Look) they sympathize with in the same film. It gets a Good Movie! review from me!

Crack in the World - 1965

So, every once in a while, I put on a cheesy disaster movie for fun. When I saw there was one from 1965, I was thrilled! What did disaster movies look like back then? Let's find out, shall we?

First, I'm going to mention the title. When I read it, I immediately started singing it to the tune of Rob Zombie's Scum of the Earth. It's been in my head for a while now. Apparently, a scientist, Stephen, is going to launch a nuclear missile into the earth's crust to access unlimited energy and other stuff, but his colleague, Ted, is wary for some reason. Come on, Ted, get on board! In the middle is Maggie. Let's create a love triangle for no reason!

Anyway, Stephen goes behind Ted's back and convinces the commission to back the launch before Ted can tell them about the dangers of shooting a missile into the center of the earth. Ted races to get the commission to retract their support, but it's too late. Stephen has already launched the missile, Ted's theory is correct, and a crack is racing around the earth.

Okay, this movie is crazy. I suppose the science part of it would be interesting if they would've simply focused on it. But the love triangle was ridiculous. It pushed Stephen to act like a petulant child and do whatever he could to one-up Ted, including putting the fate of the earth up to chance. And let's talk about Stephen's "illness." That was hilarious. I wasn't paying 100% attention, but I never heard anyone ask him about his sudden glove-wearing or why he was sporting sunglasses two miles underground. And then Maggie says he's been ill for a while and hiding it from everyone? HA! The man even had his arm in a sling and was wearing gloves on both hands at that point!

Anyway, I didn't really get the whole "crack comes full circle and creates a moon," but it looked weird, and I was getting tired of watching Ted drag Maggie up the hill. Watching the train conductor ignore Ted and the Jeep of people trying to save them was hilarious, and there were other moments of mirth, and I'm going to give it a Good Movie! review. If you want to see what happens when the stupidest scientists are given too much control, this is the movie for you! RIP Steele!

Before I Hang - 1940

Well, we tried to stay away from the horror list for another week by watching the Japanese Spider Man "movie," but it was basically a 24-minute episode with epic stunts, so we had plenty of time to watch a horror film. Sigh...

We did skip to get to this shorter one, and we were gifted the presence of The Grinch (Boris Karloff). At the beginning, he's a doctor on trial for a mercy killing. He's found guilty and sentenced to be hanged. He'd been working on a serum that extends life. While in prison, the physician there talks to the warden so the doctor can continue his work. When it comes time for his hanging, he convinces the prison physician to inject him with the serum to see what it does to his blood after his death. But! At the last minute, his sentence is commuted to life in prison. Now that he's alive, he continues his research, but he suffers effects of the serum since they used blood of a murderer to create it. He starts murdering people, but he doesn't remember it. The first time, it looks like Otto committed the murder, so The Grinch ends up looking like a hero and is released.

Eventually, The Grinch wants to experiment on his friends. They're getting old, and he's not afraid to tell them that. One in particular, Victor, has just finished a performance of Chopin. The Grinch tells him he's losing his touch, and he can be injected and young again. None of the friends want to be guinea pigs, and The Grinch takes it as a personal affront. 

The movie was weird. I was super bummed about Victor. He was my favorite. The actor's name was Pedro de Cordoba, and he had such a wholesome manner. I also believe he was actually playing the piano. I couldn't find any information to backup this claim, but I'd be surprised to find out it wasn't him. RIP Victor.

The premise of the movie was strange. The end was weird but not surprising. I'm still bummed about Victor. By killing him, now no one will hear his music! Stupid murderer!

The Loft - 2014

I was working on scanning things this morning and needed some noise for the background. The premise for this sounded slightly interesting, and I liked some of the actors, so I threw it on. This review is going to be chock full of spoilers.

Five married men have a loft where they can take their mistresses, one night stands or prostitutes and keep them a secret from their wives. One morning, Luke comes in and finds a blond handcuffed to the bed with blood soaking the mattress. He calls the other four "members" and they all start throwing accusations and having flashbacks.

Begin the spoilers!

Every one of these guys suck. Luke films the other four and keeps DVDs. He's fallen in love with the dead girl and thinks one of the other ones is in the way of his "love" for her. Marty (?) is vulgar and crass and talks about every woman as if she were simply a combination of her sexual bits. Philip is a rage machine who is a drug addict and beats up prostitutes because "you can't rape a whore." Vince is the one who came up with the loft scheme, but he's supposed to be the worst since he slept with Marty's wife, Philip's sister, paid for Chris's prostitute girlfriend and flaunts his promiscuity in front of Luke. And finally there's Chris, who I guess is the hero, because he's just having an affair with a prostitute and falls in love with her. I guess.

Later/earlier (remember - flashbacks), they think Vince is responsible for the girl's death, and Luke reveals what he knows about Vince and his connections to the others. It's then that they decide to frame him for murder. Unfortunately, the scene looks more like suicide than murder, so they elect Philip the psycho to arrange the scene. He goes all out, and the police are convinced by their wonderful job.

Except they're stupid. I'm sure there are others out there that could pick apart all the stupid things these guys do, but I have one particular point that bugs the heck out of me. The girl was ALIVE when they were all there yakking over her. When they reveal that, they do close-ups, and her eyes are twitching, and her fingers are moving. There are four men standing over her, and no one sees that?! Not one of them thought to touch her? She would be warm to the touch - not cold. Shallow breathing? Nothing. And then, when drugged out Philip cuts her, and her blood gushes everywhere, he didn't think that was weird? I'll chalk that one up to drugs, but I can't forgive the other ones. No way they couldn't figure out she was alive.

Anyway, I feel like this would have been so much better if the drugged babbling of Vince had come true. If the wives had found out and framed them. I feel like that would've been amazing. And I don't understand how there are guys NOT in prison at the end of the movie. They committed crimes like obstruction, accessory, etc., but no. Let's meet up with our ex-prostitute girlfriend in a parking lot. And why would Mimi take Marty back? He was a disgusting man. The whole thing just makes you want to take a shower and appreciate having a boring life.

Spider-Man (Japanese TV series) - 1978-1979

A while back I ordered a DVD set of this show. I wish I could say I was surprised when it came as obvious home-burned discs with hastily scrawled numbers on them. As long as they worked, I didn't care. Side note: apparently, today is Spiderman Day!

This Spiderman is a bit different from the one we're used to. Takuya isn't bit by a radioactive spider. Instead, he finds an alien named Garia in a cave who injects him with spider stuff. Then, Garia gives Takuya his revenge mission and turns into a spider, only to later die. From then on, Takuya fights against the Iron Cross Army to get revenge for the deaths of his father and Garia. He'll have to fight against a lot of Ninders (thank you, Google). We called them Ducks, because of their weird outfits. The monsters of the week were the Machine Bems that would grow. Then, Spiderman would call on Marveller, who would sometimes take out a small village with an earthquake. The giant robot was a transformer who would take the Bems out with the Sword Vigor.

I. Love. This. Show. I love the way Spiderman fights. I love the way he climbs up and down things for no reason. I loved a lot of the monsters, although my favorites were Magni Catfish and Air Bomber (he would've gotten top spot, but he didn't fly - it was all about the noise and arm movements). I love the epic slaps on the Ninders. I love the little taglines he gives himself before epic fights. I love Tachibana (a very minor character, but I loved him). I just loved every minute of this show. I could go on and on about everything I loved, but it would be a super long review and such a spoiler for anyone who wanted to watch it in the future. And I do recommend watching it. I'm not sure why Takuya was also a motocross rider (like in Kamen Rider), but both these shows were epic.

Seriously, if you like shows like this, I can't recommend both Kamen Rider and Japanese Spider-Man enough. I had so much fun with both of them. And I still don't know what that one woman wanted to do with those onions! Great Show!