Revenge of the Creature - 1955

We're almost done with the list I had printed off. This penultimate title was expected. The creature was definitely not dead at the end of the last movie, so I knew he'd be back. What I didn't know was that he was going to get dynamited out of his lagoon and taken to discount Sea World in Florida.

That's where our "heroes" decide to make some really stupid decisions. They have the press all over the place when the creature wakes up from his "coma," so there's lots of civilians there to witness the stupidity. They end up getting the creature under control and chaining him into an aquarium. Now they want to train him like a seal or a dolphin. And by the way Flippy the dolphin half-heartedly performs for the crowd, it's a probably a good thing the creature fights back.

I was Team Creature for most of the movie. There was the moment when he killed the dog, but I blame the humans for that one. I was hoping they wouldn't show the dog, and I could just imagine he'd run off to find a better owner. I mean, the woman looked for him for half a minute before Clete (seriously, who picked this character's name?) convinced her to go for a smooch fest. The next day, they went for a swim and more smooching. Never mind that the day before their friend died, and the dog disappeared. The people in this movie were the worst.

A few little tidbits I learned about the movie. My man, Ricou Browning, was again the creature under water. I suspected it might be him at one point when I watched him kind of mirror-swim under someone. It's hard to describe, but I know what I mean. Also, I kept wondering why the creature kept running into the camera. Well...this was originally a 3D movie! Now it makes sense. My last tidbit revolves around a scene that was pointless. In the lab with the animals, there was a guy with a mouse in his pocket. It was Clint Eastwood! I didn't recognize him, but when I read that, I went back and saw the resemblance. This was his film debut! 

This movie was infuriating. The people were terrible, and all the ones that deserved to die made it through. I was wondering about the BER BER BERRRRR noise, and they really leaned into it in this one. My favorite part of this movie was when some random youths stopped to try and help the extended faint woman. The creature ninjas up on them and magic-throws one over to a tree. I can't give a description that will accurately convey the beauty of the moment. If you can find just that moment, it's worth it. Other than that, the creature's just going back and forth into the water so he doesn't dry out or whatever. He should've just accidentally taken the chick in the water. Maybe she would've accidentally drowned, so we wouldn't have had to watch her just sit on the sand and scream endlessly. At the end, they just shot the creature, and he floated down into the "fade to black." No wonder we're going to see him again next time. They never learn. 

Creature from the Black Lagoon - 1954

We're getting close to the end of our Universal Monster list, and we're onto the Creature!

A guy finds a hand sticking out of a rock wall in the Amazon and just rips it out. Great archaeology technique, but it gets better. He brings back a couple more guys and some girl (for the monster), and they just attack the rocks with pickaxes. Anyway, there's nothing in the rock, so they conclude the rest of the skeleton has broken off in the past and washed into the lagoon. Let's put on our suits and go swimming!

Eventually, they come across the creature and make him mad. Mark shoots it, and now the creature's understandably out for blood. And he wants the woman with the great hair. I don't care how long she's been trapped on this scow, her hair looks great! And she also brought oodles of outfits. The creature gets himself captured eventually, and that's when the creepiest part of the movie happens. When he's just in the water and staring out of the little window in the cage.

If I put that aside, this movie was something of a slog at the beginning. There was a lot of random swimming/fish shots. Then, every time the creature appeared on the screen, the music would go BER BER BEERRRRR! Even if the creature was just chilling in the kelp, the music acted like he was murdering someone.

I want to give a shoutout to the men who played the creature. There were two of them. One for the land shots and one for the water. The land shots required the actor, Ben Chapman, to stand for 14 hours a day, since he couldn't sit in the suit. He also couldn't see, so the pretty lady got her head bopped on the grotto wall. For the underwater shots, Ricou Browning held his breath for up to four minutes at a time (when the creature wasn't moving) to get the movie classic we have today. Good job, guys!

Overall, the people in this movie were stupid. They had the doctor wrapped up like a mummy, next to an open porthole where the creature could just reach in there. Security wasn't something they cared about very much, and they paralyzed a bunch of fish for nothing. Our "hero" was a doofus, and Colonel Sanders was the worst archaeologist ever. Even taking all of this into consideration, this movie was much more enjoyable than most of the ones we've seen lately. It might just be the trash we've been subjected to, but I'm giving this one a Good Movie! review. If for no other reason than the pain the creature actors went through.

To Hell and Back - 1955

I've wanted to watch this one for a long time, and I finally found it on a combo DVD with a bunch of other movies. I can't say the title in my head without singing the Sabaton song, but it really helps to remember this movie is based on Audie Murphy's autobiography of the same name. I'm going to try not to focus too much on the man himself, but it won't be easy.

The movie has some narration to introduce it. We talk about Audie's childhood and how he ended up in the Army. Then we get to see the events that led to him earning every combat valor medal available including the Medal of Honor. The act that earned him the MoH seems like a work of fiction, but most acts of heroism do.

The movie itself was okay. I found myself being more impressed and sad that Audie Murphy was playing himself than focusing on the action itself. Knowing Murphy struggled with PTSD and the drugs he was given, and watching him reliving it all for the movie was hard. Afterward, I read he was reluctant to even do the movie, and that made it worse.

When I went into this movie, I wasn't sure what I would think at the end of it. Audie Murphy went through a lot in his life, and if you're not familiar with him, I recommend reading a bit about his life - both wartime and beyond. Listen to the Sabaton song. Read his poem about Anzio. He was a complex person, as all people are, and I wonder what would have happened if he'd been able to get the funding for the movie he wanted to make about life after the war.

So, I wasn't going to focus on Murphy, but I failed. It's just hard to disconnect them when the movie is literally based on his autobiography, and he's starring as himself! The action was decent, and the movie didn't drag. It's probably not going to rank up there as one of my favorite WWII movies, but it wasn't bad. Good Movie!

Princess Mononoke - 1997

I don't know what's gotten me so into the anime genre recently, but here I am. I can't seem to stop watching it!

In this movie, a prince kills an infected boar to save his village. He's infected by a curse as a result and has to leave his home. He can just accept his fate, or he can go and try to determine the source of the infection. He mounts his red elk and rides to the east.

He finds a town where they mine iron. The woman in charge is destroying the forest. She's come against the spirits of the forest, but she just kills them. On the other side, in the forest, is a young woman who lives with some white wolves. She tries to fight back against the town, but it's not easy.

This is basically a nature versus industry story, but it's also more than that. It's about perseverance and rebirth. It's probably about a lot more as well, but I'm not going to try and figure it all out.

I thought this was pretty good, but I was not a fan of the forest spirit. The face on that thing creeped me out a lot. But other than that, the creature designs were really well done. The characters had a real depth I appreciated. For the most part, the story was straight-forward, but there were a few moments when it went a little into the surreal. That was towards the end, and I liked it. The end was a bit sad, but I understood it. This was a Good Movie! for sure. 

She-Wolf of London - 1946

Next up on our list was this movie. We suffered through the hour it took to watch it only to be outraged at the end.

There was no monster. The hag woman was pretending to be a monster to drive some girl insane. That way, her daughter, who wasn't in love with the weird barrister, could marry the barrister instead of the penniless dude she was in love with.

Also, let's just take a moment to talk about all the stalking in this thing. Once the "insane" lady was losing her marbles, there always seemed to be some guy watching the house. Sometimes two! And then I wondered why there were so many people wandering around this park in the middle of the night. Especially a young boy! What the heck was he doing there?!

Okay, so let's talk about the motive. Hag woman wants to stay in the fancy house and have her daughter marry a man she doesn't want, so she decides to murder four (I think) people to drive her niece insane. Then, she blabs her entire plot to the girl before she gets ready to kill her, so the maid can overhear. Then she falls conveniently on her knife. The end. I just think there was probably a way she could've accomplished her goal without killing innocent people.

This movie was awful, and it doesn't deserve to be anywhere near a monster movie list.